Battle of 814 - Don't Scare the Straights

At Waffle Haus, everybody’s welcome.
Truckers. Night-shift nurses. Off-duty cops. Traveling salesmen. Retired Marines. Elves. Orcs. One particularly judgmental lich from Amarillo.

As long as everybody behaves themselves and remembers the house rules, things usually stay peaceful.

Usually.

This decal captures the exact moment Senior WHISSC Operative and Waffle Haus Sheriff Aloysius Q. Fortenberry gently reminds two heavily armed regulars not to “scare the straights” while an entire Orc warband pounds on the windows outside. Because around here, operational security matters.

See, most customers at Waffle Haus only look human while they’re on the premises. That biker at the counter? Probably a dwarf. That skater kid in the corner? Gnome. That terrifying woman in yoga pants screaming at the jukebox? Almost certainly Orcish nobility.

It’s all part of the glamour.

But every now and then somebody forgets the rules, drops the illusion, and suddenly the normals start asking awkward questions like:

• “Why does the cook suddenly have glowing eyes?”
• “Why is that goblin carrying a Mossberg?”
• “Did that waitress just hypnotize the local news crew?”
• “Why is there a trebuchet in the parking lot?”

That’s where Aloysius comes in.

Armed with nothing but a spatula, raw contempt, and decades of experience de-escalating supernatural nonsense at 3:00 AM, Sheriff Fortenberry keeps the peace one hashbrown bowl at a time.

Perfect for:

• Fans of Siege of Waffle Haus
• Monster Hunters International readers
• First responders and night-shift goblins
• Anyone who’s ever looked around a Waffle House at 2:17 AM and thought, “There’s no way all these people are human.”

Waffle Haus
Scattered. Smothered. Covered.
And under strict interdimensional concealment protocols.

• Vinyl.
• Sizes: 3″ × 4″ (7. 6 × 10. 2 cm), 4″ × 6″ (10. 2 × 15. 2 cm), 6″ × 8″ (15. 2 × 20. 3 cm), 8″ × 10″ (20. 3 × 25. 4 cm).
• Satin finish.
• 1/8″ (3. 2 mm) white border around the printed perimeter.
• Removable adhesive leaves no residue.
• Bubble-free and dishwasher-safe.
• Water, scratch, and UV resistant.
• Perfect for indoor and outdoor use.
• Blank product sourced from the US.
• Disclaimers:. The vinyl is white and a transparent background isn't possible. The backing paper features a small barcode. Small details closer than 0. 3″ (8 mm) may be cut out as one shape. Due to printing technology, lighter color designs may appear with a grainy pattern. Orders with multiple stickers may be grouped on the same backing sheet. This product is made on demand. No minimums.