Battle of 814 - Gainful Employment

Most wizards shout ancient Latin when unleashing devastating kinetic force.

Aloysius Q. Fortenberry works for Waffle Haus corporate legal.

So instead of screaming something dramatic and potentially lawsuit-adjacent, the Senior Sheriff of WHISSC bellows the magically distinct battle cry:

“GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT!”

And then proceeds to launch an entire Orc battlewagon across the parking lot like an angry tax deduction.

This decal captures the exact moment diplomacy officially ends at Waffle Haus #814. Cloaked in his true sorcerous form and powered by equal parts arcane fury, third-shift caffeine, and Southern spite, Aloysius cuts loose with a blast of kinetic force powerful enough to:

• ragdoll multiple Orc berserkers
• overturn two tons of Detroit steel
• and make WHISSC’s liability department physically ill

Sure, veteran wizarding enthusiasts may notice the spell sounds suspiciously like another famous kinetic-force incantation from a certain Chicago-based wizard detective.

That’s intentional.

Aloysius is many things:

• Sorcerer of the Seven Clans
• Waffle Haus Sheriff for the Texas District
• Senior WHISSC operative
• survivor of multiple supernatural sieges

…but he is absolutely not getting sued by a bestselling fantasy author with lawyer money.

Perfect for:

• Urban fantasy readers
• Monster Hunters International fans
• RPG players and tactical nerds
• Veterans of customer service combat
• Anyone who has ever solved workplace problems with escalating levels of force

Stick it on your toolbox, laptop, gaming case, ammo can, or employee break-room coffee maker and let everybody know:

At Waffle Haus, conflict resolution is a spectrum.

And “Gainful Employment” is near the exciting end of it.

• Vinyl.
• Sizes: 3″ × 4″ (7. 6 × 10. 2 cm), 4″ × 6″ (10. 2 × 15. 2 cm), 6″ × 8″ (15. 2 × 20. 3 cm), 8″ × 10″ (20. 3 × 25. 4 cm).
• Satin finish.
• 1/8″ (3. 2 mm) white border around the printed perimeter.
• Removable adhesive leaves no residue.
• Bubble-free and dishwasher-safe.
• Water, scratch, and UV resistant.
• Perfect for indoor and outdoor use.
• Blank product sourced from the US.
• Disclaimers:. The vinyl is white and a transparent background isn't possible. The backing paper features a small barcode. Small details closer than 0. 3″ (8 mm) may be cut out as one shape. Due to printing technology, lighter color designs may appear with a grainy pattern. Orders with multiple stickers may be grouped on the same backing sheet. This product is made on demand. No minimums.