{"product_id":"battle-of-814-gainful-employment","title":"Battle of 814 - Gainful Employment","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"75\"\u003eMost wizards shout ancient Latin when unleashing devastating kinetic force.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"77\" data-end=\"139\"\u003eAloysius Q. Fortenberry works for Waffle Haus corporate legal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"141\" data-end=\"289\"\u003eSo instead of screaming something dramatic and potentially lawsuit-adjacent, the Senior Sheriff of WHISSC bellows the magically distinct battle cry:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"291\" data-end=\"316\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"291\" data-end=\"316\"\u003e“GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT!”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"318\" data-end=\"461\"\u003eAnd then proceeds to launch an entire Orc battlewagon across the parking lot like an angry tax deduction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"463\" data-end=\"733\"\u003eThis decal captures the exact moment diplomacy officially ends at Waffle Haus #814. Cloaked in his true sorcerous form and powered by equal parts arcane fury, third-shift caffeine, and Southern spite, Aloysius cuts loose with a blast of kinetic force powerful enough to:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"734\" data-end=\"864\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"734\" data-end=\"769\"\u003eragdoll multiple Orc berserkers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"770\" data-end=\"808\"\u003eoverturn two tons of Detroit steel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"809\" data-end=\"864\"\u003eand make WHISSC’s liability department physically ill\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"866\" data-end=\"1037\"\u003eSure, veteran wizarding enthusiasts may notice the spell sounds \u003cem data-start=\"930\" data-end=\"944\"\u003esuspiciously\u003c\/em\u003e like another famous kinetic-force incantation from a certain Chicago-based wizard detective.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1039\" data-end=\"1058\"\u003eThat’s intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1060\" data-end=\"1084\"\u003eAloysius is many things:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1085\" data-end=\"1236\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1085\" data-end=\"1116\"\u003eSorcerer of the Seven Clans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1117\" data-end=\"1163\"\u003eWaffle Haus Sheriff for the Texas District\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1164\" data-end=\"1191\"\u003eSenior WHISSC operative\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1192\" data-end=\"1236\"\u003esurvivor of multiple supernatural sieges\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1238\" data-end=\"1327\"\u003e…but he is absolutely not getting sued by a bestselling fantasy author with lawyer money.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1329\" data-end=\"1341\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1561\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1342\" data-end=\"1367\"\u003eUrban fantasy readers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1368\" data-end=\"1406\"\u003eMonster Hunters International fans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1407\" data-end=\"1441\"\u003eRPG players and tactical nerds\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1442\" data-end=\"1481\"\u003eVeterans of customer service combat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1482\" data-end=\"1561\"\u003eAnyone who has ever solved workplace problems with escalating levels of force\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1563\" data-end=\"1679\"\u003eStick it on your toolbox, laptop, gaming case, ammo can, or employee break-room coffee maker and let everybody know:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1681\" data-end=\"1731\"\u003eAt Waffle Haus, conflict resolution is a spectrum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1733\" data-end=\"1789\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eAnd “Gainful Employment” is near the exciting end of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVinyl.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: 3″ × 4″ (7. 6 × 10. 2 cm), 4″ × 6″ (10. 2 × 15. 2 cm), 6″ × 8″ (15. 2 × 20. 3 cm), 8″ × 10″ (20. 3 × 25. 4 cm).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSatin finish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1\/8″ (3. 2 mm) white border around the printed perimeter.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRemovable adhesive leaves no residue.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBubble-free and dishwasher-safe.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWater, scratch, and UV resistant.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for indoor and outdoor use.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from the US.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisclaimers:. The vinyl is white and a transparent background isn't possible. The backing paper features a small barcode. Small details closer than 0. 3″ (8 mm) may be cut out as one shape. Due to printing technology, lighter color designs may appear with a grainy pattern. Orders with multiple stickers may be grouped on the same backing sheet. This product is made on demand. 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