{"product_id":"siege-of-1347-spurgle","title":"Siege of 1347 -  Spurgle","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"61\"\u003eThere are exactly two things every Waffle Haus Sheriff fears:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"63\" data-end=\"160\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"63\" data-end=\"98\"\u003eAn Orc riot during third shift\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"99\" data-end=\"160\"\u003eStraight cops noticing the customers aren’t actually human\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"162\" data-end=\"446\"\u003eThis hilariously disastrous decal captures the exact moment operational security completely falls apart outside Waffle Haus #1347. Rain pours down, police tactical teams surround the building, and one deeply confused lieutenant attempts hostage negotiations with what he believes are:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"447\" data-end=\"519\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"447\" data-end=\"460\"\u003e“Gandalf”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"461\" data-end=\"473\"\u003ea goblin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"474\" data-end=\"487\"\u003ea dog-boy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"488\" data-end=\"503\"\u003ea sharkopus\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"504\" data-end=\"519\"\u003eand a mermaid\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"599\"\u003eHonestly?\u003cbr data-start=\"530\" data-end=\"533\"\u003eThat’s still more accurate than most police dispatch descriptions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"601\" data-end=\"897\"\u003eMeanwhile, inside the diner, Aloysius Q. Fortenberry stands in full sorcerous glory looking profoundly exhausted by the entire situation, while the supernatural customers quietly sip coffee and wonder whether anybody should explain that the “dog-boy” is actually a werewolf accountant from Plano.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"899\" data-end=\"1131\"\u003eInspired by the chaos of \u003cstrong data-start=\"924\" data-end=\"954\"\u003eSiege of Waffle Haus #1347\u003c\/strong\u003e, this decal perfectly captures the sacred Waffle Haus balance between late-night diner energy and full-scale paranormal incident response.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1150\"\u003eFeatures include:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1391\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1151\" data-end=\"1180\"\u003eTactical police confusion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1181\" data-end=\"1233\"\u003eGlamour magic failing at the worst possible time\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1234\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eA goblin who just wanted hash browns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1275\" data-end=\"1321\"\u003eOne extremely done-with-this-shit sorcerer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1322\" data-end=\"1391\"\u003eThe universal Waffle Haus atmosphere of “this somehow feels normal”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1393\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1618\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1406\" data-end=\"1428\"\u003eUrban fantasy fans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1429\" data-end=\"1468\"\u003eRPG players and cryptid enthusiasts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1469\" data-end=\"1514\"\u003eNight-shift veterans and first responders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1515\" data-end=\"1618\"\u003eAnyone who has ever witnessed a Waffle House incident and thought, “There’s probably magic involved.”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1620\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003eStick it on your laptop, toolbox, gaming case, gun safe, water bottle, or patrol car dashboard and celebrate the brave men and women of WHISSC who work tirelessly to keep supernatural nonsense from becoming paperwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1839\" data-end=\"1941\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eWaffle Haus #1347\u003cbr data-start=\"1856\" data-end=\"1859\"\u003eCome for the waffles.\u003cbr data-start=\"1880\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003eStay because the SWAT team has the parking lot surrounded.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVinyl.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: 3″ × 4″ (7. 6 × 10. 2 cm), 4″ × 6″ (10. 2 × 15. 2 cm), 6″ × 8″ (15. 2 × 20. 3 cm), 8″ × 10″ (20. 3 × 25. 4 cm).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSatin finish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e1\/8″ (3. 2 mm) white border around the printed perimeter.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRemovable adhesive leaves no residue.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBubble-free and dishwasher-safe.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWater, scratch, and UV resistant.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for indoor and outdoor use.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from the US.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisclaimers:. The vinyl is white and a transparent background isn't possible. The backing paper features a small barcode. Small details closer than 0. 3″ (8 mm) may be cut out as one shape. Due to printing technology, lighter color designs may appear with a grainy pattern. Orders with multiple stickers may be grouped on the same backing sheet. This product is made on demand. No minimums.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Kelly Grayson Author Store","offers":[{"title":"3″×4″","offer_id":44128998948900,"sku":"8910721_24971","price":2.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4″×6″","offer_id":44128998981668,"sku":"8910721_24972","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6″×8″","offer_id":44128999014436,"sku":"8910721_24973","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"8″×10″","offer_id":44128999047204,"sku":"8910721_24974","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0786\/0201\/0660\/files\/kiss-cut-vinyl-decals-satin-3x4-front-69f109b667fe6.jpg?v=1777405071","url":"https:\/\/kelly-grayson-author-store.myshopify.com\/products\/siege-of-1347-spurgle","provider":"Kelly Grayson Author Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}