{"product_id":"waffle-haus-sheriff-badge","title":"Waffle Haus Sheriff Badge","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe streets are dark. The hash browns are scattered. And somewhere in the humid night, Waffle Haus Sheriff Aloysius Q. Fortenberry just drew down on a skinwalker behind Booth Six.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe rule is simple but ironclad: Everyone is welcome at Waffle Haus, but behave yourselves while you're here.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the official Waffle Haus Internal Supernatural Security Corps Sheriff Badge — proof that you've survived at least one demonic short-order incident and probably smell faintly of fryer grease and holy water.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eForged in highly polished gold and imbued with the sacred authority to say:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Sir, I'm gonna need you to stop summoning eldritch horrors in the smoking section.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFighting vampires in truck stop parking lots\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eExorcising haunted waffle irons\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFlashing at cops after a 3AM necromancy call gone sideways\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLooking deeply unqualified for the apocalypse\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarning:\u003c\/strong\u003e Badge does NOT grant immunity from werewolf bites, cursed jukeboxes, or Linda the night manager's anger.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eW.H.I.S.S.C.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eWe're open 24 hours because Hell never closes.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Kelly Grayson Author Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44202533093412,"sku":null,"price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0786\/0201\/0660\/files\/WHISSCSheriffBadge_a416dc09-a6af-49af-8883-be98df639174.png?v=1779490472","url":"https:\/\/kelly-grayson-author-store.myshopify.com\/products\/waffle-haus-sheriff-badge","provider":"Kelly Grayson Author Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}